15: His Dating Pivot

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Episode 15:

His Dating Pivot


How should Black men and women approach each other in dating? Can we move beyond seeing through the filters of “pay days” and “good lays?” Did you know that you can cultivate intimacy just as Black people, before pursuing romance or sex?



I’ve heard my fair share of men stating that women often want a husband before they have a boyfriend. I believe that some women simply possess the wrong approach to dating and relationships. But, as a woman, I also know some women are doing their best to ensure that the man who becomes a boyfriend is indeed interested in becoming a husband. So, there’s work needed on both ends, as tends to be true anytime two or more people are uniting together. Thankfully, for Dana and I, I was the woman who saw him before I saw wedding bells; and he was the man who was honest about how far he was willing to go at the time. Together, we made a mutual decision born in truth and love. As you listen, I hope you note the value in seeing and respecting each other, and communicating honestly and intently with each other during the dating process. 

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What we discuss: 

[1:03] – Season 3 welcome!
[2:17] – Introducing Dana!
[4:14] – Dana and I discuss DC dating, exploring faith, values, and personal growth.
[8:16] – Dana shares insights on evolving beyond physical attraction in dating.
[9:46] – Dana stresses the importance of emotional support, respect, and communication for Black men.
[11:36] – Dana recounts his experiences with women of differing communication styles.
[13:41] – I emphasize understanding women’s emotions rather than perceiving them as challenges.
[16:23] – We fostered a unique friendship over romance, bonding through shared interests and mutuality.
[18:50] – I banter with Dana, exploring regional charms, comparing Southern warmth with Northern virtues.
[23:01] – I promote genuine connections among Black people.
[26:11] – We prioritize seeing each other as individuals and fostering respectful, meaningful interactions.
[27:00] – Dana emphasizes the need for men to avoid objectification and cultivate genuine, patient connections.
[29:20] – My research suggests teaching Black men and women to see each other as individuals.
[31:43] – Connections can defy expectations.
[35:19] – Dana shifted from superficial focus to authenticity, prioritizing mental health support.
[37:47] – Diverse dating fosters personal evolution.
[41:20] – Dana reflects on moments of frustration in his career, recalling my encouragement to pursue his goals.
[43:24] – Empowering others is my joy, and supporting Dana was about organic community love.
[49:05] – I emphasize the harmonious cycle of mutual support and upliftment between a man and a woman.
[51:49] – I encouraged Dana to do something with his voice, and this year, he did.
[55:40] – Dana enters the Brotha-Sistah Circle with me and answers a round of rapid-fire questions.

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Links & Literature Mentioned in this Episode:


We grow as we go,

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