Fun Girl Summer 2024

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This is my third year hosting our Fun Girl Summer, and I am excited to do it once again with you ladies! Each summer, I try to travel somewhere differently to meet with who I can and enjoy some summer activities together with the Match Marry Mate™ Summer Social serving as our climatic event. In 2021, I visited out West and down South for some summer shenanigans with a host of clients. In 2022, we enjoyed a pretty in pink theme I met with clients up and down the East Coast brunching, meeting new men, and getting gussied up for Broadway. Last year, was more of a spiritual scene where I spent time with local clients who wanted to explore nature together for healing and wholeness. We travelled to beaches, waterfalls, and mountains to engage in prayer and refreshment.


It’s now 2024 and I want to be intentional about intimacy with my clientele, and even my community where possible. My sense is that this summer will be more spirit-led and evoke feminine intimacy. I rooted this energy a week before, as an invitation for us, with a trip to Arizona soaked in feminine intimacy, and I am ready to kickoff the summer with you. Let’s go!



Fun Girl Summer Theme

I explain more of this on the  Match Marry Mate™ Show Podcast, but here I wanted to offer you some visuals. As mentioned on the Pop-Up Episode 17, our theme this season is Feminine Intimacy, and it’s defined as:



Picture Gallery: Visual Examples




Mystique Chic


Laurie and I both decided on a Mystique Chic theme for this evening, making the night about beauty and mystery. As a woman, creating a theme for yourself that aligns with the event you’re attending or the place you’re going is the first task in “ordering your steps.” Such theme should also have a relationship with your goal or desired outcome. Your theme sets the mood and tone. It determines your apparel, and it accounts for and controls the energy. Your theme should speak to either your goal (regardless of outcome) or your intended outcome (depending on your why). If you are going out as a group (or a pair), there must be agreement on the goal or outcome, and thus alignment on your theme. You do not need to look the same or be the same, or even have the same goal (but they cannot conflict.)


When I think of “mystique chic,” I see a masquerade ball with harvest colors and velvet and velour. I pictured my body being more hidden than revealing with a peek-a-boo effect. Laurie, on the other hand, envisioned a more classic look with accentuation and reveal. She pictured her body showing her best features (breasts and legs) with a red carpet glare. Both looks are perfect for the kind of women we are. Because we honored the same theme, in the same mood, we both exuded and attracted a similar energy all night, but we held unique versions because I am not Laurie and she is not Joyice. (Here is where your self-esteem and personal confidence must be strong. If not, this will be difficult to pull this off with a pure heart and clean hands.) Arriving to the showroom floor, we turned heads. Walking into valet service, the valet men wowed at us and one stumbled so hard that he offered to drive us to the rideshare lane because we were just too beautiful for him to let us walk. He escorted us to the car and waited on us like we were Cinderella at the ball. He said it was his pleasure. Since Laurie is more of the Lover Girl between us, I moved out the way for her to take the front seat and have a fuller experience.



We dined at Wren & Wolf and later visited the speakeasy at The Trophy Room. Both places are masculine in mood but there is also a sexy, seductive tone. Do you see why we went for a mystique chic theme? While we look like women, we do not necessarily look like we are going to a ladies’ event. Instead, our look is more gentleman-friendly. This was done on purpose because we wanted to pull the masculine toward us with attraction and seduction, and it worked. None of our compliments were about our physical bodies (or sex).


They were about our beauty and the attractive, seductive appeal that the men felt or noticed once they saw us. People were downright enamored whether they gawked, gasped, complimented, or made an open gesture. Everything was done for us that night. People, men and women, but especially men, simply wanted to; and we let them! This is how I wanted to feel for my birthday dinner (my desired outcome) and I ordered my steps to evoke it (and Laurie played into it with me).


Tennis Girlies



Laurie and I chose a Tennis Girlies theme for this morning, conjuring a youthful or playful vibe with hints of ease and spirituality. The evening before was about me, but this experience was about Laurie. Sometimes, you take turns with who is the center of the experience, but you can still both agree on the theme and goals. (This is where your esteem and confidence matters too, but also your integrity, ego, and your heart. If you always want to be the Beyonce of the group, I question the virtue of your sisterhood.) When it came to the “tennis girlies” theme, Laurie imagined a tennis dress and the color white. She pictured her body showing off her arms, legs, and back. Though tennis is a sport, her look was less sporty and more sensual. I landed on the color white too. But, I envisioned a tennis skirt and a soft tee. I pictured my body showing off legs and arms, though not too much of either. Again, both looks are perfect for the kind of women we are. (Here is where many must check their jealously and judgment. You must hold space for difference without you making it mean anything except that no two people are exactly the same.)

We enjoyed a sunrise air balloon experience, and it was Laurie’s first time on flight. I wanted to capture in-flight pictures for her to add more recent adventure shots to her dating profile and later share one to continue nurturing a connection recently made. I asked her to get into her flow and I snapped the shots. (She did the same for me, but I had a different vision for myself). For this activity, we did not have the same goal, and we did not need to because we had different intentions, and they did not conflict. Laurie was playful and curious and I was more still and serious, if you notice from the pictures above. While both lean into a sense of spirituality, it is not quite the same.

Our compliments were cutesy, more from women than men, which is to be expected when you go for this aesthetic. It was perfect because we were not seeking male attention, in fact, quite the opposite. We wanted to connect spiritually and that would have been disrupted if at every turn some man distracted us. Laurie felt exactly how she wanted to feel that morning (and I played into it with her) because this was about her.

Later, we met up with my best friend, Jessica, and she joined us in our theme. As soon as I invited her to brunch, she texted back: What’s the theme? (She knows me so well!) Jessica opted for a tank and floral shorts with sandals. A much different aesthetic than Laurie and I but still on-brand with the theme. She looked youthful and playful, so much so, that even though I spent my morning being spiritually still and serious, she brought out my silliness once we were together.



Sexy Elegance

Laurie and I both decided that the theme for this evening would be Sexy Elegance. We were attending an event that would reveal more intelligence (or lack thereof) in the participants than socialization. It was the perfect place to display our beauty and sex appeal alongside our intelligence and ideas, and why we chose this theme. This evening was equally about both of us, but in two different ways. I wanted to show Laurie the value in attending this event as a single woman and how to easily vet men in that space. She was standing in as my sidekick for content creation and to add to my credibility when I spoke about my coaching work. I boosted her dating game, as she boosted my professional reputation.



When I think of “sexy elegance,” I am usually with my husband. I pivoted because I dress differently with him than when I am alone. I also needed to help Laurie make connections with men, so it was necessary that by nature of my outfit I would not “steal all the attention.” She was there for the men, so her job was serve looks and engage in conversation, and she did! Though both looks can fall under “sexy elegance,” we had two different goals: Laurie stole the show while I sat pretty in purple supporting her in making connections. We did what we came for, attracting who we needed with our own beck and call.


Oh, and a man who had just hit big at the casino that night bought our late-night dinner. Yes, we were cute, but this was mostly because we were approachable.


Sedona Socialite {with a Southern Twist}


Laurie and I both decided that the theme for the day would be Sedona Socialite, giving ladylike and southern charm vibes. Thinking over the theme for this occasion, I saw a fitted cocktail dress that could pass for either afternoon or evening attire. Since it was a daytime affair, I chose bright colors that would make me standout. I pictured my body being more shaped to form, but I shy away from more than two features having attention at once, so I opted for form and breasts. Laurie envisioned a more modest, classic look. She pictured her body showing her best features again with a school girl charm. Though both had a southern or even a socialite appeal, Laurie’s dress was giving church picnic. I, on the other hand, would not dare wear my outfit to anything churchy. Instead, I looked like I could take the stage at a 1940s juke joint or swing High Tea after 2P.


I aimed to snatch faces while I served looks, AND DID!  Women and men stopped me to ask questions wanting to know more about the woman who would dare such a look. Women of all ages told me they wished they had my courage and confidence. Older women flagged Laurie and I to share stories of how we reminded them of their besties in their heyday. Men told me how endearing and ladylike I looked, and one stopped me to say that my kind of beauty (decent, becoming, and drop-dead beauty were his words) is a lost art today and he was glad to see it. Each time I got off the wine wagon, he took my hand and escorted me down like he was the prince and the wagon was a chariot. He wanted nothing from me but to dote on me, and I let him because that’s exactly why I showed out that day! Since I am the more of the Seductress Woman between the two of us, I took up more space here. Laurie commented with her awe on my ability to strike an engaging conversation with any man, and I playfully replied that a part of me gets a kick out of pulling the masculine toward me *insert Eartha Kitt growl.*


(Again, here is where many women must check their jealously and judgment. You must be able to allow another woman to shine even when you are on the same wavelength. Sometimes, a certain woman can pull off a look or effect with more appeal, and that’s okay. I can rock southern with more attention because it’s easier for me to exude this part of persona because it is attached to my identity, but if the theme had been Kenyan-inspired, Laurie would have me beat hand over fist. We got to let that be okay.) 


NOTE: Laurie honored her spirit each morning for whatever called out to her for that day. Still, I had her send one pic (the tennis girlie look above) to one of her suitors. She was in such a grounded and light energy on the balloon (and her guy is a nature buff) that I wanted her to make a connection with him and pull him closer there. It worked! He opened up and gave her more depth instantly. Much differently, I planned my seductive appeal because while I was away from my husband, I wanted to share those kinds of pics with him to support our distance this trip. It dictated my wardrobe choices more. My husband was excited about my pics, replying with the vibes I sought to induce. It kept him curious about me and heightened his anticipation to have me home. Romantic connections thrive on fire (shout out to the leos) and air (another one for the gems), and any time you travel away from your man, it’s best you tap into this perfect dyad. And that’s how it’s done, ladies!


Whether you are married or single, maintaining a connection or starting a new one, stealing the show or playing support, being spiritual or sexy, calling men toward you or keeping them at bay, a woman is intentional and a lady is mindful. The art of woman (and wisdom) is the act of being known. By nature, some parts are hidden, less parts are visible, and few parts remain just in and out of reach.

How else would you be able to woo, but with a degree of mystery and charm? 😉


Fun Girl Summer Theme Song


Fun Girl Summer Wishlist

There are 12 official items (+ one bonus) so you can evenly divide the Summer with 4 wish list items across the three months ahead. I know we like to think of June as “summer”, and she certainly ushers it in, but these months are July, August, & September (until we arrive at the Autumn Equinox). We have some old faithfuls that have remained on the list from previous Fun Girl Summers, but there are so new ones added to make Summer 2024 unique.


Join our the Match Marry Mate™ Facebook Community! This is where we discuss our ideas, offer recommendations, and jumpstart our momentum and participation.  As you complete any item on the Fun Girl Summer Wish List, either post in the Match Marry Mate™ Facebook Community, Instagram, or both using the following hashtags: #fungirlsummer #fungirlsummer2024 #matchmarrymate (and any others you like). Without further ado, here’s your official Fun Girl Summer Wish List!





What Does the * Means?


In an effort to expand your comfort zone this season, dare to be more wild! For 5, 7, and 10, the parenthetical note is optional.

1 – The wardrobe item can be any piece of apparel you want but try to choose something more different than you usual. If you decide on a piece jewelry, do the same in terms of something atypical than your norm.

3 – This can be a spontaneous act or it can be something that you’ve always wanted to do or try, and you’re choosing this summer to get your feet wet with it. You do not need to finish it or become good at it, just need to try something new for the first time.

5 – Extra points if you dance near/on water or take a belly dancing class.

9 – Extra points if your summer night includes the moon.

12 – I will leave it to you to decide how you want to do this, but go for brightening up his day just because he had an encounter with you however brief or involved that is. If you are newly or early dating, choose to do this with a man you do not know or do not know well. If you’re regularly dating or in a relationship or marriage, then you can either compliment a man in a brief or passing encounter or be intentional with a man who you do know (maybe a cousin, brother, or neighbor) or shoot straight for your man.


Less Hot, More Fun


As  reminder, our community’s position is to be feminine, ladylike, and classy. I know many Black women herald the “Hot Girl Summer” mantra during this season, and if that’s you, cool; but we take a different approach here. Fun Girl Summer is about elevation and sophistication in community with our fellow sisters who are also on the same path.  For context, “Hot Girl Summer” carries a ratchet and promiscuous energy TO ME, and I do not care to perpetuate it or lead my clients in that way either.


I pray a fruitful summer for you and a sense of fulfillment in your spirit and intimacy.


We grow as we go®️,


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