Learn more about marital formations to understand (Biblical) leadership-submission dynamics
If you’ve ever been unsure about marital submission or think it’s just a way for men to wield power, I’m here to give you a bigger picture. Not all marriages are created equal and submission isn’t necessarily a bad word shun. Marriages are formed—and that usually happens with intention, tradition, expectations (+ exceptions), and communication. It’s not one size fits all where you have to assume unfavored wifely roles and positions.
Here’s the thing: I want you to understand what’s involved to be in the best position to advocate for self, choose the right-for-you partner, and enter into a marriage with realistic, righteous, and responsible promises. You don’t have to be a Stepford wife or a married woman with no voice or agency. But, you must understand that it’s a lifelong commitment as a team and it cannot always be about you and what you want.
Men do not get submission just because they want it—or even because they are male-born. In fact, the Old Testament Scriptures reject that notion.
Today, you’re getting an introduction to three common marriage formations with a closer view on types of patriarchy, including what men must “bring to the table” if they desire submission from their wives.
By the end of the episode, you’ll know more about Pastoral and Western patriarchy, understand marriage expectations using Ephesians 5 (for New Testament faith) and Numbers 30 (for Old Testament faith), and an interesting history that intertwines Black, American, and Christian History regarding the “submissive wife” tradition.
You know I’ve got your back with the latest podcast resource. This episode guide is full of prompts and fun facts shared today. You can download it here and free up some time while you enjoy listening and learning.
Tune in for a insightful lesson to understanding and deciding how to form the kind of marriage you desire.
[2:28] – We are talking about marital submission in today’s show.
[5:07] – What, actually, is the meaning of submission?
[7:57] – I explore power dynamics and three U.S. marriage forms, emphasizing patriarchal marriages and submission.
[9:28] – Patriarchal marriages can be divided into two types.
[11:57] – I advocate for marital equity over sameness.
[14:37] – Hear me examine the historical impact on black marriages and the influence of Western patriarchy.
[17:05] – I explore the influence of Western patriarchal Christian marriage and emphasize mutual submission.
[20:27] – Is there a historical link between Black male authority and expectations of female submission?
[21:31] – Jeremiah observes a misguided belief among some Black men linking authority solely to gender.
[24:46] – The expectations of sacrificial love as outlined in Ephesians 5.
[26:51] – Jeremiah highlights equal reciprocity and breaking down sacrificial love into observable actions.
[27:34] – We highlight the connection between a husband’s love, self-love, and unity in marriage.
[30:10] – The male instinct of protection and provision draws from nature and society.
[32:35] – Jeremiah feels that men are driven by instinct to build and protect but could lose their creative drive due to external factors.
[35:52] – Men’s instinct to build can be activated with societal influence shaping their priorities.
[38:07] – I share how a wife’s fulfillment is connected to her encouraging her husband’s submission to the Divine.
[44:28] – It’s important to adhere to instructions, drawing from personal experience and Biblical verses to illustrate dynamics in commitments.
[48:02] – I note Scripture’s emphasis on men in pastoral patriarchy and highlighting the Biblical oneness achieved through mutual submission.
[51:36] – Jeremiah highlights the instinct to build , emphasizing selflessness, and preparation.
[54:15] – Jeremiah adds the importance of a selfless mindset in building for longevity, emphasizing the impact on family, children, and assets.
[57:30] – Jeremiah emphasizes that a man’s work and legacy should be selfless, inspiring those closest to him.
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Resources & Links mentioned in this episode:
- Pop-Up 11: Masculine Archetypes
- Special 02: Churchy Wedding Vows
- T: The Story of Testosterone, the Hormone that Dominates and Divides Us by Carole Hooven
We grow as we go,