January 5, 2024

15: His Dating Pivot

The Match Marry Mate™ Show
The Match Marry Mate™ Show
15: His Dating Pivot
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Show Notes

When I think about Black people–top three things: spiritual, familial, and communal. There’s a sense of community and a collective that we understand. ~ Joyice 

Men are not excused either. We have our issues, we do our things. And we bring harshness out of you [women] either by our actions, our words not lining up. Often we [men let women down to the point where you may feel like you can’t trust that man. So, you build this defense in anger. ~Dana

Intro:

Today, I am joined by my good friend Dana, also known as, “The Voice.” 

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our first experience.Together, we explore the intricacies of male-female interactions, delving into our previous dating history and the essential aspects of understanding, respecting, and connecting with others. We navigate themes like faith, values, culture, and the significance of personal growth in relationships.

We share insights that transcend the conventional dating narrative, focusing on managing expectations, minimizing unnecessary losses, and fostering genuine connections.

We address the importance of viewing each other as individuals, not commodities, and reflect on the impact of gendered tensions within the Black community. Dana and I share personal experiences, discuss the essence of genuine connections, and highlight the power of mutual support and upliftment. 

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth! I also invite you to enroll in the Nurturing My Self-Esteem Mini-Course or grab the Feminine Identity Bundle.

Time Stamps:

  • [1:03] – Season 3 welcome!
  • [2:17] – Introducing Dana!
  • [4:14] – Dana and I discuss DC dating, exploring faith, values, and personal growth.
  • [8:16] – Dana shares insights on evolving beyond physical attraction in dating.
  • [9:46] – Dana stresses the importance of emotional support, respect, and communication in relationships for Black men.
  • [11:36] – Dana recounts his experiences with women of differing communication styles.
  • [13:41] – I emphasize the importance of understanding women’s emotions rather than perceiving them as challenges.
  • [16:23] – We fostered a unique friendship, choosing a platonic path over romance and bonding through shared interests and mutual appreciation.
  • [18:50] – As a Southern Belle, I banter with Dana, exploring regional charms, comparing Southern warmth with Northern virtues.
  • [23:01] – I promote genuine connections among Black people.
  • [26:11] – We prioritize seeing each other as individuals and fostering respectful, meaningful interactions.
  • [27:00] – Dana emphasizes the need for men to avoid objectification, treat women as individuals, and cultivate genuine, patient connections.
  • [29:20] – My research suggests teaching Black men and women to see each other as individuals, beyond gendered perspectives.
  • [31:43] – Connections can defy expectations.
  • [35:19] – Reflecting on his dating history, Dana shifted from superficial focus to authenticity, prioritizing mental health support for significant personal growth.
  • [37:47] – Diverse dating fosters personal evolution; with Dana, genuine intimacy, care, and support led to my successful spoken word debut in D.C.
  • [41:20] – Dana reflects on moments of frustration in his career, recalling my encouragement to pursue his goals.
  • [43:24] – Empowering others is my joy, and supporting Dana was about organic community love.
  • [49:05] – I emphasize the harmonious cycle of mutual support and upliftment between a man and a woman.
  • [51:49] – I encouraged Dana to do something with his voice, and this year, he did.
  • [55:40] – Dana enters the Brotha-Sistah Circle with me and answers a round of rapid-fire questions.

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Literature & Links Mentioned

His Dating Pivot Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}