February 2, 2024

19: Her Healing Journey

The Match Marry Mate™ Show
The Match Marry Mate™ Show
19: Her Healing Journey

Show Notes

“If I allow myself to pour enough into a man, I will grow emotionally attached. Oftentimes, it was without substance from them. This was my epiphany of being the ‘pump and dump’ girl, and that’s not okay.” ~ Laurie

“It’s important that we do not just see ourselves as women but also as our mother’s daughters. Part of the womanhood experience is connecting those two parts of identity. When you desire to become a wife or a mother, it’s even more crucial, because many of us do not want to explore those roles without their mothers.” ~ Joyice


Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our fifth experience. I am joined by Laurie. a current Match Marry Mate™ client, who is sharing her healing journey with us today. We have a sweet and tender conversation about healing and growth, unveiling stories of self-discovery, family dynamics, and the intricacies of dating.

Laurie shares about growing up in a Kenyan household and draws comparisons between gender norms in Kenya and America, her painful realization of being labeled the “pump and dump” girl, and her inspiring path of embracing femininity and healing her relationship with her mother.

Laurie’s authenticity is a beacon, and as the conversation reaches its emotional peak, stay tuned because she and I share a genuine, heartfelt moment. In our Sacred Sistah Circle, Laurie’s voice takes a sober tone, so put your extra listening ears on for a moving conclusion.

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth! I also invite you to enroll in the Nurturing My Self-Esteem Mini-Course or grab the Feminine Identity Bundle.

Time Stamps:

  • [3:04] – I am with the one and only Laurie!
  • [5:41] – Laurie shares how she discovered me through a mutual friend, a former client who spoke highly of me and recommended my services.
  • [7:21] – Laurie reveals what prompted her to join Match Marry Mate™.
  • [9:20] – Hear Laurie discuss her Kenyan upbringing, marked with education and career success.
  • [12:30] – Laurie describes the male-driven dating culture where women assume passivity.
  • [16:33] – Laurie notes the difference in social interactions between Kenya and the U.S., finding American dating more challenging due to social isolation.
  • [19:59] – Laurie reflects on some of her dating challenges.
  • [21:12] – Laurie discusses her experiences with dating Black men and her realization about being the “pump and dump” girl.
  • [24:01] – I helped Laurie redefine her role as an emotional hospital, prompting self-reflection through a movie assignment.
  • [25:32] – Laurie reflects on investing emotional currency in a man for over two years, realizing the need for boundaries.
  • [28:55] – Laurie reflects on a relationship she calls sad and comical, involving minimal dates and unequal emotional investment.
  • [31:07] – Laurie likens a troubled relationship to a non-healing wound, caused by constant aggravation and avoidance.
  • [34:01] – Laurie acknowledges a strained relationship with her mom, opting for coping mechanisms instead of healing.
  • [35:55] – I explain an exercise in ranking universal desires, highlighting the importance of addressing family issues.
  • [38:51] – Laurie reflects on her mother’s challenges, understanding her pain.
  • [41:02] – Hear about Laurie’s journey of mending the strained relationship with her mom.
  • [45:41] – I point out the importance of connecting with one’s maternal lineage for a fulfilling womanhood experience.
  • [48:04] – I commend Laurie’s remarkable transformation in nine months, highlighting her maturity, evolved relationships, and personal growth.
  • [50:45] – Laurie shares her balance masculine and feminine energies, recognizing learned and inherent qualities.
  • [52:55] – Laurie embraces her feminine wisdom, intuition, and visualization.
  • [54:10] – Discussing the balance of feminine and masculine energies, I emphasize the importance of wisdom in knowing when to embrace each aspect.
  • [56:59] – Laurie finds clarity and reconciliation in the feminine and masculine archetypes, embracing both her lover and huntress sides with grace and forgiveness.
  • [59:19] – Laurie enters the Sacred Sisterhood Circle with me. 

Connect with Me:

Literature & Links Mentioned

  • Her Healing Journey Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}
  • Female Archetypes