December 15, 2023

Special 05: Marriage As A Cultural Norm

The Match Marry Mate™ Show
The Match Marry Mate™ Show
Special 05: Marriage As A Cultural Norm

Show Notes

“Marriage may need a reboot for a modern world, and I would say it needs a reboot for the Black American community, too.” – Joyice


Let’s explore how the resurgence of marriage as a cultural norm has shaped my thinking lately! Join me as I discuss four transformative events that collided to give rise to examining marriage through this lens. Through my recent research project on Black marriage, revisiting the book The Making of Biblical Womanhood, scripting our marriage preparation mini-series, and conversations from my recent Caribbean travels, I’ve gained new insights on this topic that I want to share here with you.

This special episode also features a segment where I answer three questions submitted by listeners regarding marriage structures, male leadership, and the relationship domains discussed in previous episodes. Please join me, and remember – if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

  • [2:25] – Exploring marriage as a cultural norm has become a focal point for me lately.
  • [4:07] – I emphasize education and community support for lasting impact in healing relationships between Black men and women.
  • [6:52] – The first event is my research project on Black scholars advocating diverse approaches to marriage within the Black community.
  • [8:33] – I emphasize marriage’s value in the Black community.
  • [10:22] – Single fathers are often overlooked, but I see you!
  • [13:44] – The second event I address is reading the book, The Making of Biblical Womanhood.
  • [14:39] – I challenge traditional Western and Christian patriarchy in marriage.
  • [17:01] – The author rejects male headship in leadership but to a much more than I do.
  • [20:04] – I question male hierarchy, advocating for a natural order in relationships.
  • [22:36] – I support various marriage types and emphasize an undeniable order in parenting without rigid gender roles.
  • [25:08] – The third event is this very mini-series!
  • [27:34] – I refer to what one author in my research calls “the rift” between Black women and men.
  • [30:42] – Familial and social messages within the Black community, shaped by a complex history, influence marriage dynamics in different ways.
  • [33:42] – It’s so important for boys and girls to receive complementary messages about what being valued means.
  • [35:33] – Discussing Kerry Washington’s memoir, I explore the significance of naming, identity, and family dynamics.
  • [38:45] – Men’s desire for women’s companionship without commitment prompts me to contemplate societal shifts and perspectives.
  • [40:59] – I answer a listener’s question regarding three marital structures.
  • [42:34] – I urge Black women to discern between Western/Christian and Pastoral Patriarchy in relationships.
  • [44:58] – I answer a listener’s questions about leadership within marital structures, specifically in the Black Christian community.
  • [48:12] – In considering submission, I explore a man’s responsibility to uphold quality in his household.
  • [49:26] – I answer a listener’s questions about how I use the terms “relationship domains.”
  • [50:33] – I conclude with an excerpt from Marriage in Black, emphasizing the evolving nature of marriage.

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